I made a rather impromptu decision to move back to Blogger,from Tumblr. Don't know why,I feel like it. You can still read my old posts there anyway. Saturdays-personal lonely days where I spend time alone in the house usually. Sian la.Today happened to rain,then i didn't turn on the lights,so my house appear very dark and emo.then i lie on bed,then i cry and threw my bolster a metre away -.- anyway,i am jealous that people like Genghao & Liting's family are bonded,happy go lucky and everything's fine.I saw Genghao's family before.They were friendly and cheerful,can make me laugh too. Liting's family like always spend time together at home.quality time too. mine? father goes to work from 4pm to 12am and at times till 4am. and then work again from 5am or so till about 10am. my mum? always with aunty. i think she loves my aunty more than me. they don't even make me laugh anymore. why am i so fat? if i had known,i wouldn't have eaten so much when i was younger. I didn't even know I was eating alot COMPLETELY when i was young. being fat sucks.especially in PE lessons. I have people thinking I'm so incapable in sports because of my physique.Let alone me even touching the ball in a game. because of my physique,it hindered me from getting the best things. i rather be thin as Genghao or as Janet,i like,or being fit like Christon also can already. i remembered when I was in primary school,there are always people who insult me.For example,fatty bom bom cannot go home bla bla. then my name rashid right,then got ppl say ra...SHITTT. wth. suddenly i remembered i played soccer before at primary school,as a goalkeeper on that big green field -.- then i also remembered my clique had a real physical fight and i was like just standing there lol. then one time go back home from Bedok reservoir,took bus 8 then slept until reach tampines interchange. paiseh. lol alot of memories there.didn't even return back to that sch.sian. alone and emo at home.no food to eat. must cook myself.sian. my life's in a mess right now. keep emoing,never focus on studies,never spend time wisely. i find it sucky when my friends laugh in class then i am sad.then i get very pissed and irritated by the laughters like vuvuzelas or some bells ringing in my ears.gawd.i felt left out ok? what else i want to talk about? oh. i miss conference calls )': smses.chatted with kristine. didn't know she felt that way before. Anyway yesterday evening till night was fun. I reached home at 9.30pm from school,woo! love my squadmates.shall talk a little abt the usuals last night.junwen is friendly and supportive of me.he like to touch my stomach everytime without fail -.- pawan-always hyper,make lame jokes -.- shiyong and vernon-cool dudes! heh. sumardi,amirah,farhana-my malay frens :D xunfang-never fail to scold us but she is funny and hyper too haha.if i didn't mention the others,i still like them because they're unique in every way. anyway,didn't really focus on soccer matches last night. omg i can't stand it,i want to talk to him and her but then...aiya forget it lol. do what tomorrow?sigh. if never rain,i might be going jogging. hmm.to tell or to bottle it up? if i tell,it will worsen. bye.