I've been going out the past few days,ohmygosh. Not to mention,there'll be more coming ahead. I went out on another shopping trip with Kristine & Li Ting today at T1,Tampines Mall & Century Square in search of their Prom shoes. It was quite enjoyable I guess. Li Ting took a rather long time to purchase her pair of shoes. Kristine bought a pair of shoes and a clutch purse that was pretty nice. Guess it was fruitful for them. As for me,I didn't buy anything,but it turns out I'm going Prom Night,thankfully.However,the shopping costs just made me go mad. Had a drink over at Century Square's Coffee Bean.I love cafes mainly because they set you in a sedative mood and simply provide a space for you to chill out with a cup of mocha/coffee or anything. I started pouring in sugar syrup and endless sugar into my cup of Cappuccino. Then,I went to add chocolate powder and cinnamon powder into it.The whole thing was funny -.- Played PSP FIFA 10 with Kristine. Super fail hahah. It turned out Jasper was in CS too but it was never fated for us to bump into each other haha. Slacked,slacked. Wow,life after O'Levels. But is it great? I still don't know. I don't know if I should download FIFA 11,feeling so lazy to download large-sized files onto my laptop.Aiya,delete the old and upload the new. O.O
Oh yesterday,I went to my cousin's house.It was fun :) Spammed xbox 360 for 4-5 hours.Played Call of Duty,Star Wars Force Unleashed,Left 4 Dead,Bakugan and don't know what else. Then played with my two little cousins.they just bring smiles to my face. I remembered during my childhood days,I always stayed over at their house.
I still feel damn empty as ever )): It's so not me! I wish I can be happy like I was in 2009. It's probably one of the best years I had,well I guess.Now everything seems like in a mess from top to bottom.My social life,my relationships,my family,my happiness. Like one by one,snatched away like some kidnapper. Woa,I got kidnapped.But it means all those will be returned right? Or will it all get snatched and killed? Even so,it means I need to pay.Hmm,if it was in context of life,what do I pay? Love? Maybe. I really want to patch up things and be a better person,but in the process,I find myself defeated. Then,I always get so worked up about how others think and feel of me,and I start to throw assumptions and expect so much from them.In the end,I made them angry with me and it loosens the strings of our relationship.Afterwards,I regret doing it and cried over spilt milk. Then I ask for forgiveness and repeat the same mistake. What's wrong with me? I hate myself for fitting hypocrisy and stereotyping in my daily life. Is this what I learnt from religious class every Saturday? No.Then,Rashid,why did you do it? I learnt my lesson. I want to befriend with people whom I used to be friends with closely,but it seems too little too late to patch up things. It's like a shattered glass that can never be formed up back. Rashid,you have broken the trust,understanding and bonds that you shared with people in your life. Sometimes when I look myself in the mirror,I don't even know who I am. I felt different.
I'm going back to where I belong. I must try not to be emo.I always believe being happy brightens up everyone and lets you boost your inner confidence and is the key to good things. I must change myself. I want people to appreciate me and if I want that,I have to appreciate others.
I've been going out the past few days,ohmygosh. Not to mention,there'll be more coming ahead. I went out on another shopping trip with Kristine & Li Ting today at T1,Tampines Mall & Century Square in search of their Prom shoes. It was quite enjoyable I guess. Li Ting took a rather long time to purchase her pair of shoes. Kristine bought a pair of shoes and a clutch purse that was pretty nice. Guess it was fruitful for them. As for me,I didn't buy anything,but it turns out I'm going Prom Night,thankfully.However,the shopping costs just made me go mad. Had a drink over at Century Square's Coffee Bean.I love cafes mainly because they set you in a sedative mood and simply provide a space for you to chill out with a cup of mocha/coffee or anything. I started pouring in sugar syrup and endless sugar into my cup of Cappuccino. Then,I went to add chocolate powder and cinnamon powder into it.The whole thing was funny -.- Played PSP FIFA 10 with Kristine. Super fail hahah. It turned out Jasper was in CS too but it was never fated for us to bump into each other haha. Slacked,slacked. Wow,life after O'Levels. But is it great? I still don't know. I don't know if I should download FIFA 11,feeling so lazy to download large-sized files onto my laptop.Aiya,delete the old and upload the new. O.O
Oh yesterday,I went to my cousin's house.It was fun :) Spammed xbox 360 for 4-5 hours.Played Call of Duty,Star Wars Force Unleashed,Left 4 Dead,Bakugan and don't know what else. Then played with my two little cousins.they just bring smiles to my face. I remembered during my childhood days,I always stayed over at their house.
I still feel damn empty as ever )): It's so not me! I wish I can be happy like I was in 2009. It's probably one of the best years I had,well I guess.Now everything seems like in a mess from top to bottom.My social life,my relationships,my family,my happiness. Like one by one,snatched away like some kidnapper. Woa,I got kidnapped.But it means all those will be returned right? Or will it all get snatched and killed? Even so,it means I need to pay.Hmm,if it was in context of life,what do I pay? Love? Maybe. I really want to patch up things and be a better person,but in the process,I find myself defeated. Then,I always get so worked up about how others think and feel of me,and I start to throw assumptions and expect so much from them.In the end,I made them angry with me and it loosens the strings of our relationship.Afterwards,I regret doing it and cried over spilt milk. Then I ask for forgiveness and repeat the same mistake. What's wrong with me? I hate myself for fitting hypocrisy and stereotyping in my daily life. Is this what I learnt from religious class every Saturday? No.Then,Rashid,why did you do it? I learnt my lesson. I want to befriend with people whom I used to be friends with closely,but it seems too little too late to patch up things. It's like a shattered glass that can never be formed up back. Rashid,you have broken the trust,understanding and bonds that you shared with people in your life. Sometimes when I look myself in the mirror,I don't even know who I am. I felt different.
I'm going back to where I belong. I must try not to be emo.I always believe being happy brightens up everyone and lets you boost your inner confidence and is the key to good things. I must change myself. I want people to appreciate me and if I want that,I have to appreciate others.
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