Tiring day.I'm so dead beat.School is such a pain,I don't want to talk about it,be it studies or anything.After school,went Genghao's house,but waited him downstairs for him to change.Basically,I accompanied him to do his shopping for clothes.We went Tampines 1,Bugis,Iluma(nostalgic),City Hall,Orchard Road and lastly,Simei.Rode the MRT,packed during night time.It's so fun to be outdoors.My heart almost stopped beating when I found out the price of two shirts,costing $105 and $210.Plus,one is a simple tee and another being collared tee.

i saw pretty nice clothes and jackets. i wish i could just fit in them.my size and weight is really getting the best of me.i'm so effed up about it.such a pain nobody knows. I laughed at Borders in Wheelock Place.Omgosh.And also at some topshop store.i laughed so loudly.unglam.Ion orchard looks nice at night.went alot of shops namely,Nike,Adidas,Topshop,Pull& Bear,Uniqlo and more.I want to buy shoes from Nike/Adidas but they're so expensive.went dinner at simei banquet afterwards. took bus 28 back home from tamp interchange,30 min ride lol. on the way back home,saw someone.not the same anymore.today perhaps is the last fun day for me this week.thursday will suck.friday dont know if i'll have fun.most prolly it sucks.i'll rot. saturday worse.got tuition(argh) but no religious class.sunday worse.

this morning,when i woke up for school,or haven't wake up yet,something terrible happened in the house.felt depressed.prefer not to say it out.it affected my mood for the rest of the school day. i really should go find myself malay friends outside.those good ones of course.anyway,i still can't get over the fact what some ppl said. i'll never be the same if we ever meet again. i'm still thinking about what happened at Borders and it made me smile,funny -.- ok goodnight. hope i survive tmr.

Just finished watching The Noose. It's funny. I like the maid Leticia.She has this funny accent.Geylang World Resorts was lame.And to decrease divorces,the way is to decrease marriages,huh? What an ineffective solution.Suhaimi funny.jojo joget lol. Went for a short jog around my neighbourhood just now although I was fasting.Now my thighs hurt again. This morning,I rode a bus.Saw someone.Talked to someone.But somehow,it doesn't feel like the same anymore.I mean after what happened long ago.There was this moment of silence. That aside,I laughed alot in class.Pawandip,Christon was lame,Chen Hua had horns as usual,Yiren often laughed as usual.Geng Hao and his 'mean' stuff hah. Played Yee Ting's iPhone game with Pawan,LT and Yeeting. Realised I am a noob,but I'm new to the game. Chem SPA Assessment.Don't know if I did okay. EL oral session was okay but felt lethargic already.

Thinking of things I want to have and be in,but can't find the light to that opportunity. Still going to pray for it no matter what.

I always have this constant fear of being lonely. It's like a phobia. I don't know. I can't really say I look forward to weekends because I fear of being lonely.Majority are busy with their frequent weekend stuff and I feel like I'm living in another world.I really have a weird mindset,but I'm really frightened. Just my random thoughts la. Don't want to say anymore. Goodnight :) Setiap kali aku cuba untuk memahami asal sebab mengapa dia kadang-kala menghindari dirinya daripadaku,aku gagal dalam mencari jawapannya. Adakah aku ini tidak cukup bagus ? Aku merasakan seperti aku telah membuat berbagai pengorbanan untuk mengeratkan lagi tali-tali itu.Tetapi mengapakah aku berperasaan seperti ini? /// Adakah ini takdir? Mengapa aku begini? Aku tidak memilih untuk menjadi sebegini.Mengapa hidupku seperti ini?

Both songs remind me of someone. Used to be friends.or maybe we are.or maybe we aren't anymore.I don't know.Shouldn't have done what I wasn't supposed to.Nevermind,move on.Goodnight.Was okay today.Laughed alot.

Nice malay songs.(Y) I like Hady Mirza's one the best. Had weird dreams yesterday.I even had 5 of them cause' I woke up from the dream during sleep and kept seeing the time.Thought it moved very slow.Really bizarre dreams.Don't want to mention about it.Woke up at 12pm plus.I was fasting lol.Anyway,went to study with Yi Ren at Simei's Burger King.Initially I went to check Teadot but apparently,it's a Sunday and so the malls are noisy and there weren't vacant seats.Since Geng Hao was studying at Tampines Library,I asked him along.Took MRT together.Lol,had quite a good laugh at times at BK.Shortly,GH left.Was abit depressed over some stuff.Don't want to talk about it.But it's ok already.Suddenly,Cherie came over.She went Popular with her brother and intended to eat at BK then she apparently saw us,so chatted abit lol. went to eat dinner with yiren at banquet.yiren go drop milo inside my soup.but then still taste the same. the rice is yummy and the black pepper sauce woo. wanted to walk back from simei to my house with yiren but he insisted cuz too far._. its not even far lol. went bedok mrt with yiren.mrt train rides (Y) took bus 18,home. reminiscent hah. tired already,goodnight.

Ku tetapkan menunggumu...

Nice melody. Friday.I don't like PE lessons anymore,they're very boring.I ratherplay captain's ball...Like last time,with classmates of course.Egeog lesson,I was reading The Kite Runner book.Only at the tenth chapter now.Nice story so far.I hope to complete reading it a.s.a.p but there's alot of school work to do and stuffs like that.Physics Mock SPA next.Didn't really understand the experiment. but my diagram and the way how Mr Tan do,is like similar to mine,hmmm.recess.ate omelette rice.kinda bored of canteen food now :x Chemistry lesson.Ms Gan went through Chem Mock SPA,got only a 2 which is a just pass.And the real SPA Skill 3 is a mere 2 days away.Oh no.Must start preparing already. Went prayers afterwards.I came later to the mosque than usual.Cause' I wanted to wait for Geng Hao and the group to walk together then the bus came so late lol. Luckily got space.Felt better after that. Walked and met the rest at Century Square's Food Culture.Saw Amirah and Farhana. Ate the Chicken Cutlet Rice,quite sumptuous.Oh ya,thanks Chris for carrying my bag from school all the way to CS lol. Also,thanks Genghao for carrying my bag from CS to NTUC.haha. Went to buy popcorn with Chris.walked very fast.so the people who went to catch Inception are kristine,liting,janet,huije,cherie,jasper,christon,genghao.It was a cool,but a mind-blogging movie.I couldn't understand most part of the movie but all I could tell was that it was a dream with a dream that is within a dream of another dream of another dream.ok confusing.Leonardo Dicaprio is cool in the movie.Acting is cool,i like. After movie,went home.Saw Yuyun,Gandhi lol.surprising.they were waiting for bus.She was like tapping me or smth then im like who tap me sia.anyway i went to sleep after the movie.after that,i felt as if i was in a dream.everything seemed so surreal at that precise moment.I didn't really watch the S.League match this time around,it was pretty boring.But Sengkang Punggol won Balestier Khalsa FC BY 1-0. Not a really nice match.Prefer the last week's one. Anyway,I went to meet Yi Ren at around 11pm plus near my house after his cell group. Chatted alot,did alot of thinking.Thanks Yi Ren for the advice,appreciated them :) Luckily he got a bus ride on 17 past midnight and that's when me and him came to the bus stop.Slept at 1.30am,tired. Saturday.Woke up at around 8am.Went religious class alone by bus.10 mins to Safra,then 10 mins waiting for bus number 15.then 30-40 mins ride to Parkway Parade area. The bus ride was very long and at times,packed.Tiring but I like,for some reason.Went past by Bedok,the neighbourhood I used to live in.Nostalgic,but didn't pass by my primary school.Memories in replay. class was okay,learnt arabic and stuff.should have sat at the back of the class but no seat.if I seat infront,i would be very bored,confirmed ._. luckily my teacher knows how to do alot of storytelling. went Parkway Parade,Borders.I stumbled upon a very nice collection of books that varied in genres such as crime,thriller,inspirational and those autobiography ones. I browsed through the ones on Liverpool,Gerrard and Torres.Torres look like he can be one of those Backstreet boys last time,very cool image.That aside.I found a nice phrase in one of the other books.'Keep a positive vision,see yourself accomplishing your goals and fulfilling your destiny'. Very nice.Met Christon after his tuition,bought red tea and chicken pau.went home together.then when he alighting bus,he dropped his wallet and coins.paiseh. reached home.used come abit.then went jogging with Junwen around simei area.He's a very encouraging friend I must say.He pushed me during the jog and made me suffer :x Thanks for belanja-ing me plain mineral water $0.60 -.- I didn't know the path near my tampines area is linked to simei sia. On the way to Eastpoint Banquet,we chatted alot about other people,some physique stuff,Npcc and and sports. I didn't eat ok,i drank only lol. then i said thanks to him then he say nvm nvm lose weight can already -.- he is my lose weight buddy,according to him. then i went to take mrt.ok this is the most retard part.i went to take rides on the East West line,North South line and back to Tampines.Thinking of alot of stuff.but mostly,i was tired and sleepy.there was one part where both MRTs were moving very fast then I felt like it was from a scene of a movie.Like some dream.Why so surreaal everytime? I saw different kinds of people,the sophisticated ones,the piercing ones,the playful ones. Oh ya,got this little boy playing around then his leg stuck in between the handrail. then him and his family can still like laugh.retard.like me,retard go take mrt.but i like long mrt train rides. then i go tampines to tap my card,then cannot -.- then the staff person say i take rides that were too long then $2 got cut off from my ez-link.wow epic -.- reached home at 10pm. incredible tales,watch before,no feeling. thanks kristine for updating me the match between Liverpool and some German team.sadly Liv lost by 1-0 :( nvm,all the way,i know they can. anyway,i'm glad i have cleared some stuff with someone.i feel so much better.gosh so late,bye.

I haven't been blogging consistently ever since Sunday.I'm either busy struggling through the sea currents of life or having to give a portion of my attention,or often largely,to the school workload and all the buzz of life.More importantly,it isn't really worth it to blog about the mundane life I lead currently. I know this may sound weird but I'll talk about Sunday.Well,basically,I set aside some time to have a studying session with Gracie and Atika at Changi Airport.It was an impromptu decision but it worked out in the end.Basically,I did A.Maths and E.Maths stuff.Afterwards,I went over to the foodcourt with them to break my fast,cause'I was fasting,due to some reason.Ate the Fried Rice and had drinks.Then,I had meaningful chats with them to pour out my worries about certain problems.They expressed their thoughts and feelings too.I guess we all have something to learn from.Went home by bus 34 with them.I will remember that bus ride.Some stuff.Reached home at around 11.15pm (Y). On Tuesday,I went library to study with KokLiTing,Chris,Kris,GengBoy,Junjee at Tampines Library.But before that,they had O'level Chinese LC,so me,KLT,Chris went lunch at MacDonalds first but i was fasting that day.Joked about someone.I really shouldn't say about others when I'm not even good,in the first place.I thought about it for some time after someone said that to me.Anyway,Chris laughed for about 15-20mins in the library.I don't know what's so funny about my facial expressions when I tried to imitate someone's face.Even LT and Kristine laughed. AAA. Wednesday.Thanks Yiren for walking me back home,sorry to cause much trouble. This week's been full of tests.I don't know if I will do well.Don't think I will.But I am back to studying mode already,after one month of slacking and watching soccer.Now I don't have anyone to update me with soccer news unless I go check out some sites or I heard it from Pawandip about it.He asked me this particular question before.I wanted to say Yes but I just said Think so. Tomorrow's Friday.Glad there's no school after Friday but there's a con to it.The lonely feeling.Nehmind,it's common. I want to sign up for guitar.I need to resolve one of my problems.I need a breakthrough in life.I need opportunities to be able to mingle well around with people.I need to get over it.I need to cherish more.I need to knock my head for being silly.Most importantly,people say it's best to be yourself but what if you don't like the shoes you're in? It's such a disgrace,a shame.I'm okay,for now.I'm okay.I am.No emo. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the release of Jordin Spark's sophomore album Battlefield! She rocks :))

I dug out some old pictures but can't help to laugh at them -.- Well,a few actually. i look like shit last timei look like shit last time.

pawandip and his usual 'antics'like some bollywood film those were the sec 2 days.fun but lame.and i look like shit.honestly. boring sunday.completed alot of my hw. pissed with someone. off to airport. bye.

I turned in quite early yesterday.Woke up at 8.30am today.it was raining heavily even at around 5am.it was kinda cold.and i thought of floods.guess what? flash floods occurred in singapore today -.- my aunty,uncle,cousins fetched me for religious class.got a ride on the van there.religious class was good,creepy,emotional,everything.laughed like crazy too.i hate the feeling of death.argh.i like my religious teacher,she's very good :) after that,my relatives sent me to Parkway Parade,quite near.alone.changed my uniform lol.roamed around the mall.i wanted to go to Borders but it's closed due to unforeseen circumstances which I don't know what they are.My plan of browsing through books there,failed.So continued roaming around and waited at MacDonalds for almost an hour. Met Christon after his tuition to have lunch together at Banquet.Ate Fried Hor Fun while he had some Korean Cuisine food.The ice milk tea there is so expensive considering the size of the cup.Chatted alot of stuffs on the bus rides to and away from Bedok Int.,although there were quite a number of quiet moments but I think I'm ok with that.Saw seokpheng at the interchange there,surprising.thanks Christon for the lunch! :) i did some running today.my legs are aching like mad.it's the worst one i had yet in weeks.i even had to limp my way back home and around the house.the pain is indescribable. i just described it as indescribable.ok lame. so pain until can come out tears.my stamina and legs are so weak. did the bio worksheet today.finishing already. yay heredity. watched incredible tales.watched the episode before.no feeling at all -.- ghost whisperer then. but didn't really understand. so many things to watch.eclipse,inception.heard it has high ratings,inception i meant. i don't even have time to read my Twilight book now.And Genghao has yet to lend me his Kite Runner book.roar. aunt at home.GREAT.can't the house just have another room so that i can have a room to sleep in whenever she comes? It's so infuriating,having to shift my stuff to the living room,be it my laptop or my school work.And my comfy bed,i miss it.ugh.And I really can never forget some of the things she did in the past.She threw a cup of Milo at my face when she scolded me in my early years.What authority does she have to do that? An aunt has it? She always lectured me and I really got sick and tired of having to take it all in when I was young.Now that I'm a teenager,I have some control over my life for once.i don't get my maternal side.they always have this family quarrel going on and i get dragged along.now it's just another separated family.it's been years since i last met them.almost 7 years. i'm glad i still got my paternal side. told someone my problem,was hoping to get a solution and help.but instead,it's left dangling. but listening religious songs,especially the english versions,help me feel better. goodnight.

Just finished completing the school online surveys on asknlearn.Seven of them.Tiring.So...it's Friday the 16th.PE lesson;retest for 2.4km run.Ran only 2 rounds,1.6km.Very disappointed,but I did my math and I think I improved.Sweated alot.I really wanna lose my weight alot alot,you don't even know how badly i want this.For once,i want a double digit weight back.I just wanted to run today,as a form of exercise.It rained today after a long row of hot weather.Lol.Lunch.Then Tampines Library.a great group study session with liting,kristine,christon,genghao,jasper,yiren.Amaths overload,completed my amaths plane geometry ws,physics latest ws,amaths prelim prss paper 1,bgss paper 1(almost). still got alot more,emaths ws,bio ws.watched s.league match today,well soccer.home united won saffc,5-2. quite a nice match.a malay player named ishak scored a hat-trick. nice. i think i might want to buy the mio channel for soccer matches so i can watch the liverpool,arsenal,man utd blabla ones. i got plans after O's.Exercise frequently! sign up for guitar class.oh wait,that i might have to do in the weeks to come.must ask my parents if they allow.it's time i pick up learning an instrument.music rocks. tmr's saturday. don't like the morning religious class.feel like going alone and back home alone tmr. everything's going in a fast pace,i need a break.my eyes are like half-closed now.sleepy.goodnight if you're reading this now on friday night.ok bye,i love my friends.

guilt overcame me. i still haven't say it out.i'm dead meat.this time,it's a real problem. i must solve it by hook or by crook.if i don't initiate and help myself,the problem will stay long with me.

Those pictures were taken yesterday.I love the Jabulani ball ones and the four-box pictures,they're nice.I went Tampines 1 after school to purchase Kristine's birthday gift with Li Ting,Geng Hao and Christon.We went the Adidas shop and interestingly stumbled upon a miniature Jabulani ball that had Liverpool FC on it.It's so nice;me and Christon wanted it for ourselves too I guess.Shared the cost with Geng Hao & Christon.Then,we went Teadot to study and do homework.I feel that studying in groups at malls is not stressful.I managed to complete two Biology worksheets related to the chapter on 'Heredity'.It was quite a tough feat for me but nevertheless,I completed them.Started to take random pictures and laughed at the creepy jazzy music there.Reached home late. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTINE! Good luck for your O's and future endeavours in life :) Hope you like the present we gave you haha.Celebrated her birthday during recess.The cake was nice.emaths lesson.test;could have gotten full marks sigh.watched a class video.got two unglam pics of me -.- ah nice memories ): Anyway,EL Lesson,my group wrote a speech concerning Spain's world cup win.Me and Pawandip were like world cup when thinking of what topic to choose and write on.Mdm Yanti looks pissed with Pawandip and yiren's laughters -.- went lunch at tmart with kristine,christon,yiren afterwards. the food there isn't nice. then,ch and yr wanted to go my house but my mum and aunt at home.sorry. sian, i can't sleep in my own room today.i have to slp in living room.walao damn pissed whenever she come. reached home.sleep.rushed for tuition.boring,did alot of physics and chemistry tys qns.quite okay. i was daydreaming alot before,during and after tuition.felt like i was in a daze,like idk what is going on around me when clearly everything's moving. sigh. watched entertainment on 5.saw tabitha nauser perform,she sang the acoustic version of yog theme song.very nice :) watching glee now.advertisement. their version of bon jovi's its my life and halo nice. walao that woman bitchy towards that emma woman la.then the will guy and emma turned their backs on each other when they are in love.very sian to be in that situation ): i got so many movies i wanna watch ; toy story 3,eclipse,uh this horror film that's coming out soon and duno what else.sian i want exercise but all days not free.i got this feeling,the desire to play soccer but idk play with who la so sian.never really got the company when it comes to this.i also not even good at it.i might as well forget about impossible things that i can't do. ok glee ended.walao got what co-director for glee club.sure fail.shyt im rushing.my mom and aunt wanna slp in my room.bloody sian. i miss my comfy bed.ugh wtheck.feeling so upset and now pissed.oh ya fasting month in august.excited but also sad. can't eat lunches with friends.but i'm going to pray really really hard when it comes. ok bye.

with each day,it gets more and more complicated.envious? problematic issues? why can't i just open my mouth and say? i'm just so afraid...so afraid to even tell anyone.

Lights off by Jay Sean.Emo song. La Furia Roja! SPAINNN won the world cup 2010! The match was epic.Around 14 yellow cards and even one red card.A lot of fouls by the Oranje,they play so rough lol.And I only turned in at 11.30pm followed by at 5.30am.The stadium looks so nice during the celebration part.Anyway,I wasn't late for school today.Thanks to Kristine for waking me up :) Anw,thanks Christon & Kristine for introducing me to soccer stuff,their players and all throughout the world cup. I don't know what else to blog about.School's not worth blogging about.Bio extra lesson was funny to the max,cuz genghao made me laugh or something.i can solve radioactive qn lol. lunch with junjie,cherie,kristine,christon,yiren at rasa 21 whereas winifred,genghao,janet and jasper ate at 201 foodcourt. i hate passion ice blended drink. i will never ever drink it again. and stupid bus driver ._. ok bye.

was it always like that in the past? wishing for something that's impossible.

Soccer first... 11 June - 11 July. One month of World Cup.One Month of 63 matches.One Month of changes in me.A lot has changed.Going to miss WC but I guess I have to bid goodbye.Nostalgic,i watched almost every match. 2.30am match later.Spain will win! I hope Paul the Octopus's final prediction is right.But if Holland win,I don't mind.At least Spain made it.Germany won Uruguay yesterday,3-2.Interesting match.Forlan almost scored a goal in the last few seconds of the game during the free kick,but sadly,no.I was reading my Twilight book at some point of the matches,then goal. Anyway,I cried terribly today.The most and worst one in the last few weeks and months.I swear my eyes were darn red after one hour plus of crying.Don't ask me why I cried.I guess I bottled it up too much till it has reached its final capacity.Thanks to someone. Swimming next... Went swimming at Tampines Swimming Complex.A lot of ppl there,duh weekends.Swam at the deep pool.Been' a long time since I went swimming.Swam 34 laps with breast stroke and abit of front crawl.Took me about an hour and 30 mins. Very slow but good for someone who hasn't swam for a long time.Went to buy dinner,home.My nose now runs like a hose.wow it rhymes.all the water and chlorine fault la.god knows what else is inside the water.grr.the toilet worse,flooded.then got some kids singing 'lalalala' in the toilet. i was like shut up -.- Not looking forward to school tomorrow.My primary school friend who's apparently in RI gets a school day off because of the World Cup finals tomorrow.So unfair.I hope I'm not late for school tomorrow.Later Mrs Wee scold again,then I sian.Omg reading period,assembly,bio xtra lesson tmr,argh die.

I have a week left to say it out. My days are numbered.where are you when i needed you? can you don't leave me here on my own?

Sigh.Saturdays are just those typical days.Morning,religious class.Talked to some malay boys about school and stuff.Teacher didn't come,a relief teacher came.Learning Arabic is tough.Learnt some stuff.Suddenly felt a feeling I never thought I would feel...very weird.Went home.Weather was scorching hot.But it's okay,i like.Reached home.Mum went out.Dad went to work.So i was alone...for the whole day that is.Listened to some emo songs.Wanted to write down about what I feel onto a piece of paper like lyrics of a song or smth but lazy.searched abit about Liverpool on the internet. then i went to sleep for like one hour.after i woke up,i got this feeling. i hate it. i felt like i was in some other place,lifeless and alone,with no one to talk to.that continued till night time. tried to occupy myself with stuff so i won't think too much.watched incredible tales,watch that episode before alr.wasn't even scary.then read twilight book.only at the 3rd chapter.going to continue reading after this.i feel so lonely.i needed to talk to people on the phone.but i don't know where everyone went.they are busy with their own typical affairs outside i guess. i guess the feeling of having to fend for myself at home today pretty much sucked but it taught me how to be independent at the very least. wow i wasn't surprised that my help didn't do an impact. nvm,at least i did something. gonna lie on bed and read my book now,in a silent house in this silent night on this silent island called Singapore on a silent earth in a silent galaxy in a silent world. What Isabella Swan felt in the story was exactly like how I felt,except that our minds are different.how can i ever put an end to these feelings of mine? some day i wished i would become numb to all the feelings and others' actions,so that i won't have a reason to whine about.

PE lesson.Ran 800m in total with 200m 4 times. Sort of like pacing.kena do push-ups twice.sian. very embarrassing. someone said something hurtful.egeog lesson.don't understand why i obtain little marks.physics lesson.magnetism.boring.recess.boring.chem lesson.pissed with the experiment.abit dejected.friday prayers.kept thinking about emo stuff,felt like crying.saw some malay boys from our sch.went back school take my stuff.then went to eat lunch with genghao,jasper,huijie and huiyi. then later went to pasir ris interchange macdonalds to do homework with yuyun,yiting and the names above.did amaths paper 1 and few qns of paper 2.read abit of physics tb.group study wasn't bad.felt abit tired.took mrt to tampines interchange.reached around 6.40pm there.went popular to buy some pens.then went to bookstore to look at some storybooks.went some random gift shops blabla.waited at macdonalds there till about 7.45pm before meeting up with parents.wanted to change singtel plan to student plan but...nevermind.went century square's food culture to eat.didn't talk much. very akward. walked home to my house using the dark and deserted route.quite creepy.gives me tingles. feel like sleeping.bye.

All the thoughts lead back to you Back to what was never said Back and forth inside my head I can't handle this confusion I'm unable; come and take me away.

I hate my lumps of fats.Even people joked about it.It made me feel pathetic. Watched the Uruguay Vs. Netherlands match last night. Some of the goals were nice. Sorry Kristine for exceeding ur sms usage -.- Thanks for accompanying me during matches by smsing hah :) I tried whatever I could,but somehow,I feel like someone don't appreciate it. At times,I'm confused. Please. Tell me the truth. Feeling troubled.

i was so pissed with my Mum today. don't know why she has to scold and nag at me. i accidentally dropped sambal on the dining table and then it looks messy and all over the place. I realised my mistake and wiped it off.But then she continued to nag and say 'You can't even do things properly,you are like some kid,drop sambal lah here and there'.I was so frustrated so I said it wasn't on purpose. But still,continued to get scolded.So I just wanted to go into the room to eat my dinner and close the door nicely.But the wind made it bang. Then she shouted at me and said like 'better for me to leave the house blah blah'.Then I cried.I'm so weak. But nvm this is common. This is just one stupid 'setback' and I'm not going to let my feelings get all astray. If I aim to be happy,I know I will,just like today.

Today's morning was so dumb. I shouldn't have taken bus 28.If not I would have been early. Plus I heard there's a buzz that someone brought a vuvuzela to school and blew it during assembly. Me and Janet got scolded by someone for being late.I was so pissed off until I told alot people.But I was VERY PISSED.Early in the morning get smacked right in the face with some harsh words and moody expressions.Then in the end sit outside MPH for reading period-.- I don't get the Fleming Left-Hand Rule in Physics.And I don't like Plane Geometry.Anybody who likes it, must be a retard -.- Like who cares about Alternate Segment Theorem?! I was abit pissed with Pawandip today.So irritating la.Just because i can't name midfielders,defenders and attackers of a particular team,he go mock me.Must do research already,then prove him wrong.argh. Luckily right after Physics lesson,my mood took for a turn. Suddenly was laughing with Liting,Christon,Yiren over stuff in class,like what lumps equation or something. Lunch at Rasa 21 with Junjie,Genghao,LT,Chris,yiren.Talked alot,laugh laugh. Went back school library with lt,yr,ch to do abit hw. walked home. i was normal most of the time today.don't know why but thank you. world cup tonight,holland vs. uruguay. homeworks to do. Bye.

I'll make this post snappy. I played badminton today with Gracie and Atika.Sp brought some of her male friends along,the usual Jia Hao lol.It was tiring.I had blisters on my feet (again).Playing alone against Gracie & Atika,can die.I have to run from one angle to the other to hit the shuttlecock.Seriously tiring.Then have to jump also lol. But it's worth it. I have to improve on hitting the shuttlecock when it's near the net,it's abit hard to suddenly move forward and hit it. But I think I pretty much won against them? hehe -.- Then went to get some snacks and went tamp mall and tm1. Got some Hokkaido fair there. o.O of course didn't buy the food la. anyway,i always forget to talk about World Cup matches these days.can't be bothered lol.anyway I was happy Germany thrashed Argentina 4-0. and I support Spain but Spain has to fight against Germany in the semi finals.What is this?! i'm going to miss world cup badly when it ends,i'm in wc fever =) Oh ya i just want to add another point.There's nothing wrong with being an imposter soccer fan.World Cup is for everyone to watch,isn't that what FIFA aims to do? so means people have to memorise all the identities of players in order to watch world cup is it? Just felt abit sensitive with people saying that being an imposter soccer fan seems wrong. should get back to studying Globalisation. )': Oh ya it's Youth Day today. Youth= Badminton o.O school tomorrow,damn. starting to get immune to something.with time.

My Spain Jersey (fake)

I went cycling today with Jasper & Geng Hao at Pasir Ris Park. It was an impromptu decision but I enjoyed myself.Thanks to Genghao's family for letting me have a ride on their car :) Oh haha Jasper was funny today.We 'bullied' him,well not me,it's just genghao muaha. Chatted with them awhile over depressing and funny stuff. Genghao's mother is very funny. I can laugh -.-' Time to study,really. 3 months left to O' Levels.I decided to aim for Temasek JC. Don't want to think about how well I do.I really need to do well for my Higher Malay. Anyway,I love it when I exercise and study on the same day.It's ideal for me. Okay bye :] i like my blog songs. Absence makes the hearty grow fonder.

Lol i forgot to post this song before -.- i will rmb this song forever heh.the first world cup i watched -.-

I made a rather impromptu decision to move back to Blogger,from Tumblr. Don't know why,I feel like it. You can still read my old posts there anyway. Saturdays-personal lonely days where I spend time alone in the house usually. Sian la.Today happened to rain,then i didn't turn on the lights,so my house appear very dark and emo.then i lie on bed,then i cry and threw my bolster a metre away -.- anyway,i am jealous that people like Genghao & Liting's family are bonded,happy go lucky and everything's fine.I saw Genghao's family before.They were friendly and cheerful,can make me laugh too. Liting's family like always spend time together at home.quality time too. mine? father goes to work from 4pm to 12am and at times till 4am. and then work again from 5am or so till about 10am. my mum? always with aunty. i think she loves my aunty more than me. they don't even make me laugh anymore. why am i so fat? if i had known,i wouldn't have eaten so much when i was younger. I didn't even know I was eating alot COMPLETELY when i was young. being fat sucks.especially in PE lessons. I have people thinking I'm so incapable in sports because of my physique.Let alone me even touching the ball in a game. because of my physique,it hindered me from getting the best things. i rather be thin as Genghao or as Janet,i like,or being fit like Christon also can already. i remembered when I was in primary school,there are always people who insult me.For example,fatty bom bom cannot go home bla bla. then my name rashid right,then got ppl say ra...SHITTT. wth. suddenly i remembered i played soccer before at primary school,as a goalkeeper on that big green field -.- then i also remembered my clique had a real physical fight and i was like just standing there lol. then one time go back home from Bedok reservoir,took bus 8 then slept until reach tampines interchange. paiseh. lol alot of memories there.didn't even return back to that sch.sian. alone and emo at home.no food to eat. must cook myself.sian. my life's in a mess right now. keep emoing,never focus on studies,never spend time wisely. i find it sucky when my friends laugh in class then i am sad.then i get very pissed and irritated by the laughters like vuvuzelas or some bells ringing in my ears.gawd.i felt left out ok? what else i want to talk about? oh. i miss conference calls )': smses.chatted with kristine. didn't know she felt that way before. Anyway yesterday evening till night was fun. I reached home at 9.30pm from school,woo! love my squadmates.shall talk a little abt the usuals last night.junwen is friendly and supportive of me.he like to touch my stomach everytime without fail -.- pawan-always hyper,make lame jokes -.- shiyong and vernon-cool dudes! heh. sumardi,amirah,farhana-my malay frens :D xunfang-never fail to scold us but she is funny and hyper too haha.if i didn't mention the others,i still like them because they're unique in every way. anyway,didn't really focus on soccer matches last night. omg i can't stand it,i want to talk to him and her but then...aiya forget it lol. do what tomorrow?sigh. if never rain,i might be going jogging. hmm.to tell or to bottle it up? if i tell,it will worsen. bye.