T.G.Y.W.N.T

If you can't be honest with me,then I am afraid this is the end Hurry up Hurry up.. If you ever really care about me... Tell the truth,Give it up...

I don't really know what to blog,but I feel like it.Anticipating for September holidays. I guess I regretted doing some things.That's why I am trying to study to distract myself from thinking about all the things.But it's always there.Confessions? I'm happy during lunch today,gosh I haven't laughed so much since abcdefg days.All my friends' fault lah XD Prelims have been okay so far.Perhaps Thursday will ruin it.Bye.

Unbelievable.

Why do I always feel so unlucky? Some things are better left unsaid,so I'm just going to zip up.

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before

Day One of Prelims.A tiring one.HML papers were okay I think.Hope I do well,please. Thanks Zulaiha for lending me malay stuff.Oops cannot use stuff,later english composition use,then Mdm Yanti angry -.- Thanks Genghao,Yiren for making me laugh in library today.Thanks LT for returning back my correction tape.Thanks Christon for letting me photocopy your english notes.Learnt new english words too.Singapore football team won bronze medal for YOG! Nice game against Montenegro 4-1. Very good. YOG ends today.so fast.Everything is moving fast.Before I know it,it's O'Levels. Wish me luck for EL papers tmr,just hope I scrap a B3 :x

Just The Way You Are < 3

So,I guess tomorrow marks the start of my school's Preliminary Examinations.The first paper that I'll be taking is Higher Malay.I admit I'm not one who's good in the subject,but I'm trying my best to get a good grasp of the subject.I memorised 125 proverbs till I'm about to drop :x In the end,only 5 will be tested.Wish me luck for tomorrow,anyway. I'm taking a break now.Youtube-ing is probably the only thing I can think of as a break. Jasper mocked Jordin Sparks during lunch today.Grr.I prefer Kelly Clarkson anyhoo :) Thanks Genghao for accompanying me during recess in class. Love talkin' to you :D I love home cooked food.Nothing beats it.I like that my Mum always prepare a cup of hot milk tea for breakfast meal,especially the froth on the surface. Today's dinner was home cooked chicken rice.Oh gosh,my stomach is grumbling. I'll probably get back to Malay and then to Social Studies/Biology :x Suffer now.Enjoy later.Nice. I need all the time I can have...

The Truth Yet To Be Known

Written By Chris Daughtry :)

I realised I have been too sensitive and expect highly of others.I'm sorry if I've ever done wrongdoings to any.I'm trying to be a better person.I believe all these experiences will make me more aware of the world I'm in;it's part of growing up.Once again,forgive me. I will try my best not to repeat the same mistakes again.

Don't forget to leave my heart

How true. Happiness is the sweetest revenge.Study session with Junjie,Kristine,Janet,Yiren was fruitful.Laughed alot,talked alot,witnessed lightning strikes,gossiped,ridiculous antics and more.Sky was dark today.How expressive.Ps Kristine,Yiren and few others for the embarrassing moment I did in Bio Lab.Shouldn't have showed my face.Finding ways to vent out my sadness.Trying to study really hard.I see progress.ss,bio,hml.

Not even the happiest of moments could supersede the smallest of disappointments

Kadang-kala,aku menganggap hidup ini sebagai satu untaian ombak yang bergulung dan kemudian berkecai di pantai.Namun,aku berpendapat seseorang itu perlu menaruh sikap yang positif terhadap hidup. Aku amat kecewa dengan sikap seseorang itu.Mungkin aku berfikir terlalu lebih.Namun,aku merasakan seakan khadiranku tidak diperlu di sisinya lagi.Aku mahu meluahkan segala isi hatiku kepadanya,namun aku tidak sanggup melihat reaksinya terhadap itu. Mengapalah aku berasa keseorangan dan sepi di rumah? Aku mahu seorang adik,atau seorang abang agar aku tidak berasa kesepian. Tetapi,ia sudah ditakdirkan.Aku sering bergantung kepada sahabatku kerana aku percaya mereka akan setia kepadaku.Akan tetapi,apa harus aku buat apabila mereka mengkhianati persahabatan ini? Biarlah ini rahsia...yang tersirat jauh di dalam lubuk hatiku kerana meluahkannya semua tidak akan sedikit pun membantuku. Separuh jiwaku pergi.Aku menanti hari itu di mana aku akan melupakan segala perkara tentangmu dan seperti engkau tidak wujud di dalam hidupku. Selamat Tinggal. My thoughts.

Desolate prospects

I realized I always procrastinate when it comes to blogging.I'm just too lazy to say out everything. Here it goes again...

Thursday was the day where I went back home straight after school for the first time,after so many days.Friday morning.Watched Liverpool play against Trabzonspor online.Thanks Kristine for accompanying me to watch at that really unearthly hour.Christon "overslept".Notice the quotation marks.Really had sleep deprivation. Now I starting to remember a couple of names of liverpool players.

PE was boring.Watch people play basketball.Last lesson,yay? friday prayers went alone,as usual.felt very sian. at first,there was this sec 2 guy who kind of followed me but in the end,he went with other sec 3 guys -.- i think is due to my unfriendly nature -.- i mean,what can i talk about?

was late than usual.went back to school.met syafiq,irfan and another malay guy,forgot his name.talk with syafiq on the bus about npcc,school life etc.went back school with them.studied with kristine and junjie at 3rd floor bench.really thirsty and hungry,and sleepy.it was raining.gloomy aura.random-ed with both of them alot.jj wanted to play table tennis -.- then they left,studied with yiren but most of the time,i daydream away.

When I was packing my bag and YR went to the toilet,Mr Adrian Lim came and talk to me -.-"

He talked to me about lots of stuff;National Service(my deadly future),studies,revision,universities,the importance of going to a good college,his school life,Ramadhan for a whole of 45 minutes.WOW.Then he also talked about his favourite football club which I guessed correctly.Arsenal LOL. He was kind of disappointed when I mentioned I like Liverpool.Then he talked about the 1989 game and saying how he likes soccer in his secondary years.But he's okay to talk to.It made me stressful but I think I've been getting alot of wake-up calls this week. sent off yiren to 201 bus stop.saw R7 malay guys.they said hi to me lol.random.

Saturday.Religious class.I reached the Safra bus stop.Bus no. 15 was infront.When I alighted,the bus went off.Late for class by half an hour.I'm always late for it anyway.Learnt meaningful stuff,perception and blabla.nice.not going religious camp which is today and tmr lolz,lazy go.

Oh ya,the bus ride.I was seating next to the window so I was basically daydreaming away as usual.I know someone sat beside me but I was totally unaware of everyone around me.I was in my own world back then.Suddenly,a voice spoke to me. "Hi Rashid".I turned to my right and I had a paiseh moment.My malay primary school friend Idris sat beside me.Was very close with him last time.Went his grandmother house,play game,talk on phone for hours,study together,joked alot too.I was like mygosh i didn't even know someone so close and someone i knew,sat beside me. i was like sorry sorry-.-talked alot.but then still not enough.no choice,had to leave for class.

after class,went marine parade library.did abit of studying.Idris was there -.- ok then i went up,wanting to say hi and bye to him.suddenly i saw another one of mymalay primary school friend,fiqah.she walk past me -.- then i waved to her then she waved back with a smile -.- haha then i sms idris,joke -.- met christon to go home with him,as usual. then something happen again.Saw another primary school friend,Pu De -.- all three classmates sia. talked abit with him blabla.and the thing is we took the same bus lol. i think he changed alot in physical appearance.last time he got this baby face in primary school.now his hair nice lol.ok i met him like twice last year and only now then i say it.what a bizarre encounter today. went to study with gracie at whitesands mac. saw few ppl. rebekah lol. bus ride home was a dream. slept in the bus and everything was dark,ok abit,cuz around 7pm.then like so sleepy,gloomy feeling.i duno how explain.

type so much already.poor english really. Time to hit the books.

I believe it is paramount for one to appreciate the friends that he or she has.One should learn to accept,show concern to those who care about him or her,and not neglect him or her.Just food for a thought.

Been' 3 months & I'm still sober...

a barren routine.

This week has been really dry.I've never felt so...nevermind.Yesterday was the release of the MT O' Level Results.It reminded me of the time when I received mine in January.It was exactly a repetition,everything.But at the same time,it has always made me demoralised,even till now.Anyway,congrats to those who have done well and to those who felt disappointed,try harder,there's a second time around.i felt bad because i didn't know how to make my friends feel better when they cried etc.all i can do is just sit by their side.Went to study with kristine,genghao,junjie. Oh ya, on tuesday during hml lesosn,i found out amirah was sick and at hospital ): Get well soon!

Then had nice talk with atika seokpheng.then halfway through yiren started fooling around.epic.then had chit chat session with genghao yiren gracie.went off to simei eastpoint to have dinner with parents.then they bought me a pair of adidas shoes.my mum insisted on it.they bought me a liverpool jersey wow,but not the $99 type.it's only like $50+.they're being so nice to me idk why. reached home at 10pm.School hasn't been any fun.No.I feel like fasting somehow has made me feel "separated". I guess I've eventually came to a point where I bottled it all up and broke down.I don't know why all this is happening )': perhaps it's discovered. perhaps i am hated.but it isn't my choice.

when you're stuck at the crossroads

School was a bore,but I'll still talk about it anyway. Came school as per normal,went to class.Kristine talked to me and asked about the Liverpool & Arsenal match.I have poor memory.Couldn't remember alot of things.But frankly,yesterday's Liverpool match was exhilarating and adrenaline-rush.I was hoping for Liverpool to win but Reina made a blunder.Wasted,but at least it's a draw.Nice match.The atmosphere's great.First Liverpool match I watched.Before the match,I watched abit of baseball and motor racing.Motor racing looks scary especially when they turn round a curb.Baseball needs a lot of accuracy and quick moves.

Pawandip didn't come school again.Er due to some reason,don't want to say it here.EL lesson was boring.Made a clear-cut decision for myself. Bio test.Didn't study much.Don't know. HMT lesson.Did a test.Easy for me.Physics lesson was worse,felt moody.Assembly;MJC talk.Felt pissed. Lunch with the rest(didn't eat) go school study blablah.Really in no mood for studying.80 more days of suffering. Just wish I get a single digit for O'Levels so that people won't stoop so low to me and make them open up their eyes for once.

I did what I could.Impossible? Yes. I've made a decision because you led me to it and you helped to bring it about.Sacrifices?But why still? I will still regret it and eventually turn my back on it.But do I have a choice? Nothing I do ever seems right for you.So why is this heart caring so much for YOU? Why...

One of the best Malay songs out there.

Random Pictures

Are you seduced?

Little Piggie asking for pork.

What's she looking at?

LaPORKannya

Oxpork University for Dumb Kids

Liting's dear sharkie.

Random Pictures.Enjoy. Religious class today.Dunno where all the chairs go.went home with christon.tampines mall.Nothing much,sleep all day.Didn't study.I hate the post effects of afternoon naps.Didn't really watch soccer matches.Too many. YOG Opening ceremony nice.better than ndp in my opinion.tabitha performed.nice fire at the end.go singapore (how lively).Nobody want to study with me... ): Bye. Hope my Mum's okay. How to be well-liked?

But why only now then? How do I say?

Exhausting day of school.PE lesson.i accidentally stepped on a snail and the shell cracked.Sorry snail! Had height and weight.Weight keep up and down,very irritating.Height still the same.Had abit of R1 captain ball.less than like 3mins? lol.Pawandip didn't come school.Sick.I got letter from Health Promotion Board to go for appointment.How?! Practiced alot of oral during lessons.English Oral 'O' Level Exam.Don't know how well I fare.I think Picture Discussion was the component that frightened me,don't know if my interpretation made sense.Just hope for the best.Done my best and let God do the rest.Waiting for the exam was nerve-racking.Furthermore,the examiners look 'menacing',but when I came to them,I think they were okay. After school,went to play badminton with Geng Hao,JunJie,Christon,Kristine at Tampines Sports Hall.No space,fully booked.Then,'sneaked' in and played awhile until one woman "chased" us out.So we played outside.Like some despo. But not fail i guess. Geng Hao & Christon started making weird sounds while playing. Video on Kristine's blog.I started saying Jun Jie was walking at a speed tantamount to that of Ms Devi along the grassy areas -.- Kristine was complaining of how hungry she was.Sweated profusely.Had blisters on feet.Felt very very very thirsty and hungry.Don't know how I managed to endure it,with people drinking water and eating in front of me (Y) After badminton,went to break fast with them except JJ.Saw some R2 guys and R6 guy joshua while going up to buy food at Century Sq lol.Felt so full after eating.Dunno why.Took bus 28 with Kristine home. Reached home,gulped down like 1.5litres of bandung i think.damn thirsty. I want 'O' Levels to end quickly.Studying = Student + Dying. Youth Olympic Games & Barclays Premier League starts tomorrow. No feeling. i wonder when we graduate,will we still keep in touch? Will we meet up,laugh and talk like how we used to? I'm thinking too much again. Exams sucks. take a risk,take a chance,make a change and breakaway~ tell me why it had to be.

Watched England VS. Hungary match yesterday at 4am on Mio Channel.At first,England was losing but Gerrard saved the day by scoring two consecutive goals for England.Nice goals~ Night prayer yesterday was okay but tiring. Demoralising day.Demoralised over so many things ; EL Oral,personal stuff blabla. What's the point of studying when all I do is keep screwing up and screwing up? Waste my bloody efforts.I screwed up so many things. Sometimes I wish I graduate faster.Sometimes I don't want to. I can't believe I broke down over studies and relationships just now.Furthermore,my lips and face looked pale when I reached home. I'm so tired.Exhausted.Running low on self-esteem.

Why I care so much when nothing will come out of it? tell me why am i born like this. i never asked for this.i don't want to be like this.can't my life just turn around completely?! i don't wanna be.i don't want.but i can't do anything about it.

Why are you so...extraordinary?

Woke up at 4am to eat for fasting.Fasting was okay,I was able to persevere through :) But I couldn't do the E.Maths test,had a terrible mind block.Need someone to teach me probability,I just can't do probability.After school,went to accompany Liting,Genghao,Christon for lunch.Then,went back to school library to study with them.Taught Chris abit of Malay for his oral.I was low on spirit halfway through because he said something mean,but I learnt to forgive because I can't be bothered over petty stuff -.- Genghao lost his umbrella when he put it outside the library .The umbrella I shared with him :x Liting was like facebooking on my phone.Oink. Busy week.or rather,day,and tmr,and tmr. To go night prayer later or not to? I think I should go.Confide.Bye. I feel inferior everytime.Being close hurts so much but being distant also hurts so much.Isn't there a way out?

A dose of latte & cyclobutane.

Look at my title above hah.Today was just wake up in the morning feeling so shitty,replied smses,bathe,breakfast,tuition from 1.30-3.30pm,studying at Tampines Regional Library,dinner at CS and more studying at Teadot and laughters with Gracie,Atika & her housemate.Anyway,I didn't even realise I got 2 messages and 2 missed calls when I was lying in the bed this morning,was sleeping and didn't hear anything.Sorry Jun Jie. So after tuition,had lunch with Cherie & JJ.I was silent most of the time,awkward :s then they waited for the yog torch relay event while i headed off to study with Gracie at TRL.Anyway,I found out something while talking to Atika,don't know if that was a secret,but it's quite hurtful to know. I can't believe I crack a stupid joke in CS foodcourt ._. Is it even a joke?! Anyway,fruitful study session cause' I studied Alkanes,Alkenes,did chem yearly/topical tys mcq,chem wb.Over dosage of chemistry :) Ramadhan tomorrow! I'm excited.I'm going to fast for one full month,I hope.No badmouthing,no bad talking about people and purify oneself.Talked about some plans with Atika for this month.Really tight-packed month O: Nvm,with strong faith,we can :D Thanks Atika & Gracie for studying when I had no one to study with :) I think I'm starting to focus on my studies now and I hope to do it till O's.Can't afford to not get 6 A's ): Gonna continue studying.Goodnight readers. Don't wanna be reminded of the stuff that happened.Forgive,forget,lock it up,delete and vanish.

Infinite Disappointment

Happy Birthday Singapore! Had Family Gathering today at Costa Sands Resort,in celebration of my 8-year old female cousin's birthday.Every year kind of thing.Fun time with family and relatives.Ate BQQ chicken wings,sambal stingray (my favourite!). Played soccer too at Pasir Ris Park,fun! Wanna play more.I love to kick the ball high-high. Some people flew kites and they got stuck on trees.F to the A to the I to the L. Sunset was nice,got jet aircrafts flew past.National Day what. I played with sparklers too,that explains the pictures above. Watched abit of NDP Parade at the chalet and abit of IP man also. Reached home around 11pm. My parents finally subscribed to the Mio Sports channels,yay. Nothing else.Goodbye. If I told you Could you live with that If I told you I couldn't live with that No... trying to like myself but at the same time,hate myself. wet pillows. wet eyes.

Some pages turned,some bridges burned,but there were lessons learned.

Woah.It's been almost a week since I last blogged.A really busy week I had.Right now,I am trying to remember the stuffs that I did in the past week.Tough,but I'll try.Anyway,I think I'll start talking about my family first.Heh.Sorry for lengthy post.

My parents have been really nice to me this week.I really gotta thank them but I don't know how to show my gratitude.I mean,I seriously don't.All I say is thanks and that's it.Recently they bought me a pair of Lott0 shoes,costing around 45 dollars.It's really nice.It's red,white and black-coloured.I love it :) Also,they got the living room painted now light and dark orange,love it.My room is painted that colour too,two shades of orange.It's much better compared to the purple of the living room and the blue of my room last time.Also,I think I haven't mention they got me a cupboard to store my stuff.And they bought DURIANS. I love DURIANS,for now :D It has this nice,unique taste.But it reminds me of something,yuck.I had a family lunch today at home,with my aunt.Somehow managed to chat with my aunt about her working life since she started to recently.It's quite comical.Not surprised there are flirts out there.

Now I'll talk about school life.I admit I have been diverting a lot of focus and attention from my studies,and it's beginning to get to me.I really got to focus now.Now isn't the right time to slack.I'm really worried about what the results may turn out to be.Furthermore,the results of one subject has already been determined,and it really demoralizes me.I'm pretty much worried about all my subjects,especially my languages. But I guess I'll just work hard.I must.Tuesday was a busy day.After school,I accompanied Kristine for physics consultation with Mr Tan.Asked a few structured questions.Then I got to go for tuition right away.Helped to buy waffles for Cherie,Junjie and myself.It was pretty mad rush.Tuition's really tiring.A lot of TYS doing,dated back to 1970s,sigh.I hope it's all worth it in the end.Home at 7.30 pm ):

Thursday-It was such a busy day.I think I screwed up Physics SPA.Oh for crying out loud.Wait,it's C.O.L.Then I had to sit for an A.Maths mock exam which got me really moodless even before the exam.Geng Hao who was sitting behind me,was banging the table a lot-.- I was quite amused but was like WTF lol.Then,after the exam,the correction tape Christon used was epic fail.The whole thing became a lawyer's wig.I couldn't stop laughing about it.Then what happened next was even worse.There's this school attendant you know the aunty,she started going 'pok pok keh,chickens' and laughed to herself.Then on the bus ride home,I kept smiling to myself.Gosh.

Friday-Had NDP celebration.There was a talk by a member of the NATAS.Climbing Mountain Everest really takes a lot of determination and effort.I don't know how they do it.Amazing accomplishment. Then,my class went to some kindergarten in Tampines. to explain the significance of the flag and ask them to sign on the postcards.I know that area a bit,been around there before.The kids are so cute.Love them-.-Made them dance along to 'Reach out for the skies'.I don't really like the year of that song.Some stuff.Hate it. School ended early. Then went to Tampines 1 Kopitiam to have lunch with friends.Yi Ren broke the zip of my wallet ._. Slack awhile at T1.Went for Friday Prayers.Nice.Then went back to school for english oral consultation.Mdm Yanti gave a 10 for reading aloud,saying she wanted to give 11 but don't want.then picture she said she gave 7 0r 8 -.- Gotta practice my oral hard.

Then went badminton with Kristine & Li Ting.Thanks for playing :) Played at SAFRA.Very fun :) Sweated alot,felt my face was burning.But ironically,my legs didn't ache nor did my hands.But I got a blister on the same finger AGAIN.The skin got cut off.Ouch.Pain.Slacked at the lobby afterwards.Went roaming around the SAFRA area awhile.The girls started to use Facebook and internet on my phone while I rot in boredom -.- Sent Li Ting off to T1 then back home at around 7.30pm.

Saturday-Went religious class as usual.Bus rides were very long.Relief teacher came,very bored.I learnt that we shouldn't think bad about people and misunderstand them.We should instead accept them.Anyway,went to pray at mosque then went to relative's house.Ate Chicken Briyani with them.Relaxed awhile.Played soccer with Faiz & Farhan.Fun :) Then went to play 'Blind Mice' at playground and got my poor head banged. Ouch.Damn pain la.It's like walk walk,then BANG.My sense of touch fail sia.Anyway,it was fun.Then they go buy these bomb packets,the ones you have to throw then step then the thing explode -.- Then in the lift,they go put on the floor then BOOM.It's like suicidal please,damn stupid.Went to study with Gracie & Atika at Tmart after that.Then home.

Sunday-One of the bad days I had.Met Genghao and walked with him.Had nice chats and random moments.Took pictures too. Thanks Genghao :)

Anyway today there was some YOG torch relay near my primary school and Eunos CC.My primary school friend was part of it,so cool.

Hopefully there'll be a better tomorrow. Frankly,is it just me that I felt some people changed their attitude towards me? Okay,it's late already.Goodnight.

a problem that stays long with me.live with it then,albeit it was fated.

KBox,Tapestry

I haven't blog for four days.Wow.Okay,I forgot what happened the past week.

Friday-PE lesson was funny.Alot things happened.Tried out the gym less than 5mins.Ok rather awkward and paiseh.Can't remember what happened next.Thanks Kristine for Ndp biscuits.Still haven't finish eating them.Then went friday prayers.sorry genghao couldn't accompany you for the scrapbook thing.had to do what i had to -.- saw a lot of familiar faces.saw hazmi,my classmate in religious class.weather was terribly.raining heavily.seriously hate it,so cold.

met genghao after that.Kbox outing for LT's birthday.Fun,sang alot of songs.Some chinese songs my friends sang were nice.I am now in search of nice malay songs -.- sang until my voice sounds different now.sang daughtry,backstreet boys,westlife,kelly clarkson,jordin sparks,one republic,boys like girls,lady gaga,katy perry,sean kingston and more.anyway there's this bowl of tidbits that costs $7.but can refill.read jasper's blog for more info -.- so chaotic.took bus and mrt with LT.her scrapbook is so nice ): waited at tmall first then went home with christon.sent him off to condo.then i went home.purposely to kill time.

saturday-had tuition at 2pm.had a terrible running nose.unglam moments with tissue paper.after tuition,went to photocopy some chem tys with cherie,cynthia,junjie.went mac.played with junjie's milestone.i lost to cherie-.- reached home.got ready for tapestry 2010! met genghao,huijie and gracie in the mrt.i made the 'whole world' wait for me,hahz. Overall,it's quite a good concert. CO was great :) Saw familiar faces too.Saw Mr Lee sze lin,lower sec form teacher,lucky he recognised me.saw someone again but he didn't say hi at all to me,or even look in the face.ok after the concert,we had to wait for a long time.amelia was super retarded,right genghao? went to take mrt home with a big group of people.the mrt was super crowded i can't stand it.somemore it was like almost 11pm.take away mac at tamp mall.i finally ate fast food.home at 11.30pm. fasting month starts 11 august.Yay must do more good deeds,must be more patient,must pray more,must study for prelims,must be so busy,YAH.bad timing.hari raya around exams period.english oral starts next friday.wake up and buck up rashid,stop slacking like some oink.my english damn hopeless now.failed an easy compre somemore.that reminds me bio spa tmr,oh die.and what am i doing here? blogging.marvelous -.- today Liting made me laugh in lab -.- omg she damn lame.but the most lame is pawandip. random.bye.time to bathe,pray,dinner and mug time. ok nerd. oh ya forgot to wish LT happy birthday here. Anyway Happy Belated Birthday~!